We all wanna call the shots, right?

Isn’t it time to rise above your entry-level status, mark your territory in the office and permanently dethrone your power-hungry boss from his reign of workplace terror?
While we cannot blueprint your Napoleonic takeover of your office, we can offer 5 scientifically-backed tricks to feigning the powerful and dynamic persona that you always wanted!


1. Take up a lot of goddamn space


Researchers from Harvard Business School found that by taking up a lot of physical space, people not only appear more powerful but also feel it. Stretching arms and legs out can make a timid person feel more bold, as such “power poses” spike testosterone levels and feelings of “dominance” (TIME).


So, that asshole stretching out his legs on the subway might just be preparing for his high-powered day job – the one he spends crushing the ambitions of lowlier employees for his own masochistic pleasure.


Frank Underwood has the right idea… The blood is also a nice touch!


2. Stand out in a room


Researchers from Harvard Business School found that people who possess nonconforming behaviors signal higher social echelon to others – meaning that by playing up your unique qualities, you will appear more confident and “special” than the average workplace drone (TIME).



Try out some YOUnique office attire!


3. Speak with abstract (pompous) language


Researchers from the University of Southern California found that by speaking in more abstract language – by discussing the “big picture” – people were perceived as more powerful (TIME).


Ends up, there ‘aint no shame in all talk and no game…



The ultimate master in bullshitting


4. Be in control of eye contact


Contrary to popular opinion, researchers at the University of Miami found that those who look away and break eye contact are the real power players. People lower in social status were actually found to be the ones that make more eye contact (TIME).


Rather than making strong, slightly uncomfortable (weird) eye contact, don’t be afraid to look away…


Remember to be the powerful one of the situation – it’s mere charity that you would ever bless this peasant with your kingly gaze.



Looking like this guy also wouldn’t hurt.


5. Stand at the back of the elevator


A researcher at the University of Jyväskylä (it’s in Finland) observed that those of the highest authority in an office tend to coalesce towards the back wall of the elevator (TIME).


So, instead of being that pestering intern that steps out of the elevator on every floor to let people through, stand your ground!… at the back of the elevator where the real bad boys hang.



This photo is somewhat relevant.



While these are mere tricks into feigning confidence and cachet in the workplace, why not give them a try? After all, you gotta’ fake it ‘till you make it!
Read more on TIME.com


Thomas Freeman is Texas-transplant and aspiring journalist trying (but often failing) to navigate New York City. A current NYU student, Thomas also writes articles and manages media content for 20to30.

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